June 23, 2009

Real Quick-like

Finally got some decent sleep today. Will likely come back home and sleep more after my meeting.

Head felt messed up for a few days. Feel somewhat more straightened out now.

Twitter is a monster.

"Jumbo" is a pretty cool band. The songs "Dia" and "Aqui" in particular.

Lyrics in another language in songs make them better to me, in some aspects. The vocals sound more instrumental than trying to convey a message. Not to say I don't like lyrics in songs.

Dads Fathers Day gift finally came. Will have to drop that off today while they're in Towson.

Finally got paper so I can redline Thom's novel. I'm excited to do that.

More to come later.


Art Update

Finally got a mirror so I can continue the painting. We went to the bookstore and I looked at a few books for Flash and I think I'm seriously going to look into learning it. Maybe even scripts too... (not sure what I would use them for though).

I'm a little out of date. I don't know XHTML. Never really had a need to, but I should probably find out what's changed.

lady at laptop


June 17, 2009

Artwork update

There's a mini portfolio on the right side now^^

The cat knocked over one of my mirrors, so it might take some time to get this one done. Have to go buy a new mirror!

Self Portrait using two mirrors

Self Portrait setup

Closeup on hair

Self portrait using two mirrors (skin)

A commission

Picture 032

Dress painting I worked on, oils


Picture 003

Picture 025

Sketches from imagination or reference



Picture 008




Oh I am so out of date...
Unsilenced Fugitive

Escaping the fires in the wilderness,
I expunge my feelings away from the views I knew,
Engulfed in flames my past burns tirelessly,
Fully waist deep in it's emissions I awaken,
Crawling and reaching with my fainting hands up before the sky,
I've come to acknowledge this,
I've come a long time,
A long way from what I've inevitably found,
Only to look back on myself with reverie,
I can calm the nerves inside of me,
Life and death is not as serious as it seems,
The fires engulfing within me are stronger than,
The gases that were used that lit this place,
Though the fallout burns my skin as I get away,
It will always symbolize the viel I can no longer wear

Old Poems I've Written

The Lesson of Music

To record the movement of time,
To realize these feelings of mine
To feel the changes that have taken place in me,
I have to grow to recognize the heart beating in me

Long ago when tapes were all we had,
We had to rewind over and over to listen,
Now in a time when time is fleeting and short,
Do we take for granted what we have?

I don't write to hear myself think,
Or speak to hear myself speak,
I just use time as wisely as I can,
Because it'll be gone before the next verse

To hear my own ramblings acknowledges I live,
To know I have not given up and I'm still alive,
Without these words in which we've said,
We can't dream of when the next chance will come

To say them again,
Oh how I wish I could say,
I wish I could be there,
When time was a given and was free

Now I'm just writing about me after time went,
Oh how we don't appreciate the gifts we've had,
Until they're long gone and the chapter has closed,
Oh how I wish I could be there singing this modern song

When there is life, there is a will,
But without failure there is no cloud,
No cloud to build our thinking,
No cloud from which to lift us

The Angel said,
As he sang of our song long gone,
Now a fleeting memory in his mind,
Cradled in his arms the Book of Life

The Sun Rains For Me

You know I can't say,
The words that I really mean,
When the world has filtered it

What I do has meaning,
But I can't continue to compromise my fate,
When you haven't been with me

You told me you'd be there,
But my soul says,
That you no longer can be

I worry how you will do without me,
But my heart knows a brighter day,
A brighter day will come

I couldn't have predicted,
Any of the choices we make,
Sometimes we live just to make them

I can't say I'm happy,
About having to do it alone,
But I won't give up either way

I have to walk this way,
It'll be hard,
But I gotta do things my way

I didn't come down here to make it right,
I came here to put an end,
To the things that just cannot continue

To the frown on my face,
To the frowns all around me,
To the voices that ground me

If I had a pillow and a string,
I'd send one your way,
But you wouldn't accept it anyway

Because you want to pull your own strings,
And this is easy to understand,
When you're just floating all by yourself

But please just understand,
That the world will never be the same without you,
And that I have done all that I ever can

My destiny tracks my soul,
Like a grain in the sand,
My tears are what's in my blood

The eyes follow me,
The eyes following are tracking me,
Tracking me as I put one candle out one after another

Been Gone Far To Long

So I've been busy with "real life" stuff for a while and haven't had time to really do a decent update with this. Shameful! Though Deb has been doing artwork lately that should be posted up as well. Like a certain new painting or digital piece that's been being worked on. *nudges* Got it Deb?

I found something I had been looking for a little while ago. A website by a Mexican artist by the name of Vinnie Veritas. The stuff at www.vinnieveritas.com isn't especially polished, but I love the art style of his flash animations and they only get smoother over time. The most recent one was great and I love all the CCC related stuff. Actually, sometimes the physics in my dreams are similar to what is shown in his Flash stuff, but all very vivid in color and the like. That's what leads me to this. In 2005, he did a Flash called "Rush 2", a sequel to one of his earlier bits.

Later, a German group (I'm pretty sure they are anyways) did a fairly accurate live action version of it and released it in 2008. It's pretty good! Here's links to both the original flash and the Live Action version.

Original Flash Version

Live Action Version

I actually feel kinda embarrassed by putting out stuff like this... I guess because it touches me in a strange way that I don't really explain or show. Rather, it's likely something that I'll enjoy while someone else could leave with disdain. I like how rough it is though. I like the pure SPEED conveyed in Vinnies stuff and the kind of haphazardness of the shapes, the style, and I LOVE the strange oddities like the clothes and the cityscape with all the extraneous doodads, smileys, airships, and all other forms of strange stuff decorating the landscape. I think even moreso I like that they aren't just decoration, but are a part of the everyday life of these people and are interacted with.

Speaking of creativity, I did write a complete outline for a short story, though it's not anything near what I was originally considering. Far from the kind of "gritty fantasy" position I was originally considering. In fact it's a more modern tragedy I guess. *laughs* That fact alone makes me want to not write it, but at the same time pursue it. It gives me mixed feelings. I love the individual character I came up with for it, but I hate where he ends up. I think that it may be because it potentially could be someones real "life story".

There is the possibility of going out to the handgun range with B today. This is humorous for the fact that I don't have ANY 45 and haven't even seen any in stock for at least a couple of months now. That said, we do still have that Rohm RG24 left by his grandfather in 22LR... I'm actually kinda scared to shoot it. Brad's managed to keep a supply of 40 though. Makes me wonder if should have gone with the 40 version.

I did go to OC last week for a day. Did plenty of drinking per my brothers request. There were some amusing things that went on. Like the "Clown Condo" across the hall that had the cops visit and resulted in OVER THIRTY PEOPLE all being told to leave. The crowd just kept coming as we sat at the window and counted them. There was a point when my brother asked why I wasn't drinking anymore beer. I told him I couldn't drink anymore. He asked if I was drunk, to which I replied no. He said that I was drunk since I couldn't drink anymore. That's when I told him that I couldn't drink anymore because I was too FULL!

I also managed to jump around in the ocean some, but it got chilly, gray, and breezy when I went down. Of course, the next morning I got an email from the boss telling me I was off work that night. I was happy as all hell! I was going to stay late or even find somewhere to sleep in my car and stay til Friday! Sun came up and it was a brilliant day outside. Then at 9:30AM I got a call from the guy who was supposed to work that night, begging me to cover for him. His wife got into an accident and was fine, but was shaken up and wanted him home. I was hard pressed to say I'd cover, but ended up doing it. I know if Deb had an accident, I'd probably do the same thing.

Before I left, I talked my brother and thanked him for letting me crash there for the night. Went down to the boardwalk area and stopped at this place by 25th street called "Happy Jacks Pancakes" and got a pretty good Western Omelet for a decent price. Left my car parked in their lot since it was uncrowded and walked around the boardwalk for an hour or so. The day was crystal clear. People were already out on the beach and plenty of folks were hanging out on balconies and in shops. I walked down to about 11th from 25th and then back. I wish I'd been able to stay longer, but rolled out around noon. Made it back before 14:30.

Of course, I was pretty annoyed when it turned out that pretty much the whole family, plus Brad, Laura, and the Veeches were ALL down there for the weekend while I was here at work. Added into that was the OC Airshow was that weekend. Damn did I pine for being down there...

When Brad got back, we went and had lunch on Monday. He told me about what they'd gone, seen, and done. Sounds like he and Laura had a great time. I felt pretty wishful when he'd said multiple times he wished I'd been down there with them. Turns out there were things he wanted to do that she didn't and vice versa. More amusingly was that I would've been happy to do any of the things he mentioned!

That said, we started looking into maybe heading down in August and getting a room for all 4 of us. We both agreed we'd like to stay down for at LEAST one night, maybe two. We both said we'd love to spend a day running around the mini-golf courses and maybe taking one of those OC Air Tours that my Dad and I went on a while ago. That and gettin some of those bikes to ride around the boardwalk in the AM. Can't wait for it and everything better work out!

Hm. So much more I could write... I made spaghetti last night! It was win.

Maybe later. I've spent a helluvalot of time on this one already.


...has interesting stuff going on in his life. He should update. Damn it, Deb

June 05, 2009

June 03, 2009


Just a few things from 4chan that make me laugh.

4Chan is as evil as it is wonderful. Endure and profit or run and be frightened, for 4chan can be just as tainted and horrific as it can be hilarious and enlightening.

Remember, everyone is a fag. Everyone. Thatfag, Carfag, Stonedfag, etc.

Just a couple simple things to keep in mind, should you delve into it. BE SURE TO BEWARE /B and /D!!!

So Many Things

Just a brief excerpt from my mind. There's so much more I want to write than this, but if I don't at least throw this out, I'll lose it.

Loraxia came by yesterday! Had a great time! I made awesome-sauce chicken.

I had a short story in mind... I'm actually embarrassed to say what it is, but... The story in Final Fantasy Tactics is so full of political intrigue, backstabbing, double-crosses, deceit, and questions of who is friend or foe that I was considering writing a short story set in that universe. Something where it's either after the end of the events in the game, or some type of alternate ending to the game. It's hard to really describe without giving any spoilers. The game itself is good enough to be a novel.

Had an inspection at work, that was interesting.

I've been interested in and researching Hypnotism in relation to meditation and also the general benefits of hypnosis. The fact that for the past 16 years, the NIH has now confirmed it as a viable therapy method really got my attention considering how taboo it seemed considering all the stage hypnosis that's out there and the BS associated with the real field. I was also surprised at just how many notable psyche Drs, including Sigmund Freud, have actually studied it as well.

Plenty of random stuff to pray/meditate (or at least try to meditate) about. Been reading a few different books slowly. I'm kinda picking up where I left off with some things with unexpected results.

I'm getting used to the food I've been eating lately too I think. Real Deli Meat and Muenster Cheese tastes amazing.

HOLY FUCK THAT LIGHTNING STRIKE WAS AS CLOSE AT THEY GET! That damn thing was literally just across the parking lot and the report was so sharp I almost thought some asshat was outside with a high powered rifle! Sounded like a Mosin Nagant almost, just a little less bassy!

So yep! Off I go!